Updated: Aug 27, 2019
290 days ago we did a thing. A pretty damn cool thing mind you, but a thing none the less. It's one of those things that happens everyday, the kinda thing you hope to only do one time, but if you're on number 4 or 5, trust me, we are not judging.
This thing that I've yet to name is marriage. 290 days ago Ebonni and I said I do and pledged our love and shared our personal vows in front of over a 100 people in a what will to me forever be known as one of the most emotional and phenomenal days of my life.
For those of you that know me or Eb, you know that I never wanted to get married, and even when I finally came around to the idea, I wasn't all that in a rush to say yes. If I sound like a walking contradiction, it is probably because I was and many cases still am. For a bit of background on how we ultimately made it down the aisle click here.
Now that you've had a chance to get a lil' background info on how we got here, I really think there are a few things you should know about weddings:
1. They're emotional as fuck - I cried like a baby and could barely complete my speech. I am not an emotional person by nature, but seeing so many beautiful people make unbelievable sacrifices to celebrate our union really got me. I mean we had people travel from as far away as Paris, a slew of New Yorkers who flew in the night before and family and friends who put their lives on hold to witness the two of us becoming one. Not to mention the kind heartfelt words expressed and the countless hugs and kisses bestowed upon us from everyone. I didn't even wanna get married for most of my life and I was a wreck, so I can't imagine the kinda emotions running through someone who's been dreaming about this day since the age of 6.
2. They're tiring as fuck - I woke up around 6:00 AM (nerves and butterflies) and didn't fall asleep until well past midnight. That is actually a normal work day for most folks. More than the physical, the amount of mental and emotional energy you expend to get through wedding day and wedding week is quite a bit to bare. By the time you've cut the cake, scratch that, by the time you're being introduced for the first time as a married couple, all you wanna do is sleep for a few days.
3. The actual event is fast as fuck - the whole thing happens at lightning speeds and you unfortunately don't really get a chance to spend much time with all of those really special people who made so many sacrifices to celebrate you. That's actually probably one of the most disappointing things about weddings, rarely do you get to really spend time with the folks you love, there's just not enough time in the day to say vows, take pictures, dance, give speeches, eat food and all of that other jazz.
4. You end up being hungry as fuck - there's just no damn time to really eat. I dunno what else to say except for the fact that I was starving. I might have tasted a thing or two, but as soon as I got ready to dig in, duty called.
5. They can be expensive as fuck - The average cost of a wedding in 2018 was $30,000. Now, I dunno about y'all, but I dunno if I wanna spend 30 racks and still feel hungry as fuck at the end of the night - see this month's guest blog from a mom who spent 40k on her daughter's wedding here. On the other hand, they don't have to be so expensive if you a) slash the hell outta your budget like I did b) have amazing loved ones near and far help secure donations and gifts and c) can afford do without certain added luxuries
6. They're cool as fuck - of course a few people show up to talk shit and eat your food, but for the most part, I'd like to believe that 86.38% of the people that showed up for us were there to love us, celebrate us, dance with us, laugh with us, cry with us and flat out be one with us. Weddings are really damn cool and Ebonni gets all of the credit for helping me see just how much fun they can be.
I'm not much for loads of attention being centered directly on me, so that was an adjustment, but Eb did such a great job at making sure nothing felt like too much. She ensured that the day was all about us enjoying each other and reveling in the moment. There's nothing cooler than being eternally bonded to your partner in crime and knowing that they can't be compelled to testify against you in court.
With everything I know now, I would absolutely do it all over again, with the same person of course. The only thing I'd want done differently would be to carve out some time to spend with our loved ones. Don't call them guests, don't ever make the mistake of calling them guests, they traveled far and wide and committed their hard earned dollars to say they love you, they are not guests, they are loved ones and from the bottom of our hearts, I'd like to thank them so very much once again for helping make our day a very cool and unforgettable experience.